“What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” is a book written by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. In it he brought to light the fact that all of us talk to ourselves, sometimes audibly. But what are we saying? Many times it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a justification that we are correct in our thinking. “I’m not very good with names,” “I’m too old for this…”

The subconscious mind does not recognize negative words such as “no,” “not,” “never,” etc. When we use these words, it defeats the purpose of whatever it is we are trying to accomplish. So when we try to improve ourselves by eliminating so-called bad habits, it is paramount that no negative words are employed. An example:

NEGATIVE: I will quit smoking.

POSITIVE: My lungs are healthy, I breathe only clean fresh air.

Obviously, it is easier to use the negative affirmation because it is the path of least resistance. You may also think that you are lying to yourself, that your lungs are not currently healthy. But think of it as telling the truth in advance, creating a new prophecy for yourself.

There has been occasions when someone has asked me, “How’s it going?” and I will answer, “Great! Best day ever!” It may be a busy day on the brink of disaster but I say this anyway. Once, a lady responded “Is it really your best day ever? Why is that?” I answered her, “One of these days, it will be by best day ever so I have to keep saying it to speak it into existence…”

Positive affirmations can and should be used in the socialization of young children. I have heard many a parent say to their child, “You’re being a bad kid.” That proclamation is counterproductive and can be hurtful to their psyche. A more and constructive statement to a youngster acting up would be, “You’re better than that,” or “I know you can do better.” Again, it would be easy to fall into the rabbit hole of negativity, probably because it’s how one was raised. However, it would be worth the extra effort to take the high road.

Employers, managers and supervisors can also learn to use positive affirmations when training or disciplining employees. With practice and repetition, the use of these affirmations and self-talk should manifest the desired behavior.